How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Harvard Business Review

1.7M Views . 2023-10-05

Even if you don’t think you’re a natural (or you hate it), anyone can become proficient at this important art using the right tactics and behaviors. 00:00 “Small talk” is a misnomer for such an important part of communication. 01:07 Establish appropriate goals. 01:52 Give yourself permission to pause. 03:35 What if you feel like you have nothing smart to say? 04:24 What if I make a mistake or say something dumb? 05:09 What if my problem is that I have too much to say? 06:04 What tools can I use if none of this is natural to me? 07:53 How do I get the conversation started? 09:00 How do I end the conversation (gracefully)? According to Matt Abrahams, author of "Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot", key strategies include avoiding conventional responses in favor of establishing genuine connections, prioritizing brevity while delivering messages, and speaking authentically without the pressure to be perfect—which means daring to be dull. Fear or nervousness need not deter anyone from communicating effectively on the spot. Read more: https://hbr.org/2023/09/how-to-shine-when-youre-put-on-the-spot And there's more by Matt Abrahams on this topic in his new book: https://www.amazon.com/Think-Faster-Talk-Smarter-Successfully/dp/1668010305/ Follow us: https://hbr.org/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/harvard-business-review/ https://www.facebook.com/HBR/ https://twitter.com/HarvardBiz https://www.instagram.com/harvard_business_review Sign up for Newsletters: https://hbr.org/email-newsletters #HarvardBusinessReview #Communication #SmallTalk #CommunicationSkills #Career #YourCareer #Work #Business #Harvard Copyright © 2023 Harvard Business School Publishing. All rights reserved.

Small talk is often misconstrued as unimportant chit-chat, but it is a valuable way to connect, bond, and learn. The speaker encourages us to view small talk as a collaborative effort to keep the conversation flowing, rather than a competitive exchange.

small talk

Small talk is more than just casual conversation; it's an opportunity to connect, bond, and learn.
To feel less anxious about small talk, focus on being interested in the other person rather than trying to be interesting yourself.

Insights from the YouTube Video Text:

1. Small Talk is More Than Just Chit-Chat: This video challenges the common perception of small talk as trivial. Instead, it emphasizes its importance in building connections, fostering understanding, and facilitating personal growth.

2. Ditch the Tennis Match Analogy, Embrace the Hacky Sack: This intriguing analogy encourages a collaborative approach to conversation. It shifts the focus from individual performance to shared effort, making small talk less about "winning" and more about enjoying the process.

3. Be Interested, Not Interesting: The video highlights the importance of genuine interest in the other person, rather than focusing on showcasing your own personality. This advice helps alleviate the pressure of feeling judged and allows

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