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The Problem With Being “Too Nice” at Work | Tessa West | TED

TED

521.1K Views . 2024-05-29

Are you "too nice" at work? Social psychologist Tessa West shares her research on how people attempt to mask anxiety with overly polite feedback — a practice that's more harmful than helpful — and gives three tips to swap generic, unhelpful observations with clear, consistent feedback, even when you feel awkward. If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: https://ted.com/membership Follow TED! X: https://twitter.com/TEDTalks Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ted Facebook: https://facebook.com/TED LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferences TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit https://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Watch more: https://go.ted.com/tessawest https://youtu.be/HrCbXNRP7eg TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com #TED #TEDTalks #work

The speaker, a social psychologist, explores the phenomenon of feeling awkward during social interactions. They argue that despite feeling anxious, people tend to act more polite and generic. The speaker uses various methods, including measuring physiological responses, observing nonverbal behavior and analyzing verbal communication to study these interactions.

Social Psychology
Awkward Interactions
Nonverbal Behavior
Physiological Responses

  • The speaker is a social psychologist who studies uncomfortable social interactions, examining verbal, nonverbal, and physiological responses.
  • The speaker uses lab experiments involving negotiations, getting acquainted, and feedback tasks to observe participants' reactions.

Insights from the YouTube Video Text:

1. The Paradox of Awkwardness: Nice but Generic?

This text starts with an intriguing question: why do we become more "nice" and generic when we feel awkward? This paradox is what drives the speaker's research, highlighting the fascinating contrast between our internal discomfort and our external behavior.

2. Exploring the Layers of Social Interaction:

The speaker meticulously breaks down social interaction into three layers: verbal behavior, nonverbal behavior, and physiological responses. This framework allows for a deeper understanding of the complex interplay between our conscious choices and our subconscious reactions.

3. The Science of Uncomfortable Social Interactions:

The text emphasizes the speaker's focus on studying uncomfortable social

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