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The Problem With Being “Too Nice” at Work | Tessa West | TED

TED

1.3M Views . 2024-05-29

Are you "too nice" at work? Social psychologist Tessa West shares her research on how people attempt to mask anxiety with overly polite feedback — a practice that's more harmful than helpful — and gives three tips to swap generic, unhelpful observations with clear, consistent feedback, even when you feel awkward. If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: https://ted.com/membership Follow TED! X: https://twitter.com/TEDTalks Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ted Facebook: https://facebook.com/TED LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferences TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit https://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Watch more: https://go.ted.com/tessawest https://youtu.be/HrCbXNRP7eg TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com #TED #TEDTalks #work

The speaker, a social psychologist, studies uncomfortable social interactions and observes how people behave during them. They measure verbal behavior, nonverbal behavior, and physiological responses to identify patterns in these interactions.

social psychology
uncomfortable social interactions
nonverbal behavior
physiology

  • The speaker, a social psychologist, studies uncomfortable social interactions by observing what people say, their nonverbal behaviors, and their physiological responses.
  • These interactions are often characterized by increased heart rate, blood pressure, and nonverbal cues like fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, and pulling away from the other person.

Insights from the YouTube Video Critic's Perspective:

1. The Paradox of Awkwardness: Why Do We Become More Pleasant When Uncomfortable?

The video presents a fascinating paradox: When we feel anxious and socially awkward, we tend to become more polite and generic in our interactions. This begs the question: what psychological mechanisms are at play that lead to this seemingly contradictory behavior? Is it a subconscious attempt to avoid further discomfort, or is there a deeper social dynamic at work?

2. The Science of Uncomfortable Interactions: Beyond Words

This video highlights the complexity of social interactions by analyzing not just verbal communication but also nonverbal behavior and even physiological responses. This multi-layered approach offers a richer understanding of

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